8/21/2011

Leaping Into The Sack To Soon

Got your attention didn't I?  Well, playing leap frog is a practice far too many women are falling victim to nowadays.  The question to ask yourself foremost should be, "Are you looking for unemotional sex, or a lasting relationship?"  Come on.  Stop smirking.

Dating and relationships just aren't what they use to be.  We live in a sexually liberated society that has changed the dynamics dramatically.  Many single ladies I have talked to try and stick to a 5-10 date rule before they take it to the "Intimate" level.  But when they have the added outside pressures of a biological clock ticking away at warp speed, parents harping for grand babies and simply craving for a committed relationship, the pressure to put out sometimes far outweighs sensibility.

So, what's a girl to do?  Thinking before you leap is a good idea and here are a few important factors to consider first that might just temper the urge for all the right reasons.
  • Sex releases a different set of brain chemicals in women than in men.  We get a massive surge of the hormone oxytocin that induces bonding and creating relationships.  It's a need beyond our control.  Men, however, don't get that rush because of testosterone, making it a heck of a lot easier for them to "love em and leave em."  So before you give it away, you may want to make sure they're just not looking for a roll between the sheets, if you're wanting a lasting relationship.  Just sayin'.
  • Men who are bad kissers ... well, the odds here girlfriends are 10-1 they're rarely good in bed.  Back away.  Back far, far away.
  • Don't let alcohol cloud your judgment.  Poor decisions always derive from consuming too much of the sauce, whatever it is.  The risks are just too great on so many levels.
  • It's a rebound error.  We try to forget the hurt and pain from a love lost, needing to feel sexy and attractive and wanted again.  Jumping into bed with the next guy who shows interest, says the right things, makes the right moves or simply looks just too darn scrumptious to deny is NOT the bandage to heel your broken heart.  Go on a "man fast" for a while.  Do girly things, take up a hobby or cause.  Do for you.
  • You're really not attracted to him but the offer is tempting you senseless.  Okay ... this is where you need to step back and take a long, hard look at you know who.  Really.  You may be lonely, horny, bored, needing confirmation you're still desirable OR all of the above but, in the end, you'll only feel more empty, unfulfilled and guilty in the end.
Wanting sex is human.  Giving it away and losing count is simply unhealthy both emotionally and physically.







4 comments:

Pamelas7 said...

Thank you for that post. We don't hear enough advice like this today.

www.mychicmommy.blobspot.com

Bobbi said...

Great post! We need more advice like this out there. So tired of hearing the opposite. Love your blog!

{Bobbi}
http://fashionunder30.blogspot.com/

Nicolette said...

Wow! We do make bad choices a lot and your article is so true. Sometimes we want to be loved so badly, we wear blinders when it comes to having sex. I just love your blog and writing. It's so true and honest and informative.

Marsha Edwards from Ohio said...

My daughter is only 12 and if I could give her any advice about intimacy, I would share with her everything you just said. I love your style of writing and how you go straight to the heart of the matter with a touch of light wit and realism. Thank you so much and I am a true follower.