Whether you’re married with children or a single parent with a partner, I betcha the last thing on your mind at the end of a long day is having sex, right? Is it possible to take your love life from fizzled to hot-hot-hot when you live a hectic lifestyle?
Maybe “hectic” doesn’t quite fit the bill when you roll into one day an alarm clock that beats the sunrise, rushing breakfast while getting the kids up & ready for school, lunches need making, school bags aren't packed, the bus is met or you’re the chauffeur, clean/tidy the house, throw in a load of wash, pick up groceries, run other errands and maybe work a full time job, tend to an infant /toddler or both, shuffle them to sports, other extracurricular activities and appointments, check homework, help them study, ready them for bed then ... do it all over again. Phew!
Let’s not forget the spit ups, throw ups, constant poopy diapers, skinned knees, sibling tirades, temper tantrums and everything else in between that makes you feel like someone got the story of Cinderella all wrong and you feel obligated to rewrite it. Parenting is no picnic in the beginning … the middle … and worse yet … the end when you’re dealing with raging hormones and independent thinking.
So how do you get the razzle dazzle back in your love life? Do you feel like a born-again virgin cause it’s been too darn long?
Don’t lose your humor, my friend, and know that you are not alone. It’s life. It gets in the way. When you feel overworked and overextended, stress ain’t exactly an aphrodisiac. We have a tendency to do it to ourselves because we’re wired to think we have to be the do all-be all partner and mother. Guess what? You don’t though. Stop. Breathe and remember there was only the two of you before that precious bundle of joy entered the picture. Putting a task off for another day won’t end the world. Sex after kids is possible.
Sex is important and should be a priority, not an afterthought in any relationship. Both partners need to be committed to each other to keep the passion alive. Seize the moment when you can, whether you’re jumping each other’s bones in the kitchen or living room when the baby is down for a nap, or the kids are at the neighbors playing. You were a team before the kiddies arrived, make it work. Schedule “we” time or a date night.
Rev it up a bit and make the first move. Your mate could be just as tired as you yet, showing a little sexy and slipping into lacy lingerie instead of a tattered tee, might do the trick. Set the stage with candles, invite him to join you for a bubble bath or share in a shower together. Sometimes we forget to reconnect. Reach out and touch each other, make eye contact, hold hands and snuggle close whether you’re washing dishes, cooking near the stove or brushing your teeth side-by-side.
Break the monotony and get away, if even for just a day. Play hooky and spend the day together, take a long drive to someplace you use to enjoy while dating, get away over night if possible or even take a long walk down a beautiful pathway. Don’t sink into a sexless existence because you feel you need to do everything right and do it now. That old adage, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today,” does not apply to moms.