Of course they do … they’re just wired differently. We get frustrated because our partners don’t feel us, hear us, ignore us or listen to us like our bff’s do. So, what happens then? We get frustrated, start to yell, hold back on being intimate because we feel like we’re constantly being ignored and he’s just not getting it.
In actuality ladies, it’s not his fault sometimes. I can hear you all gasping at your computer screens right now, “What ????” It’s true though. Men react to different signals we give off. And sometimes it’s body/verbal signals we’re not aware of radiating. Expecting him to agree with you right off the bat isn’t going to happen. When you ask for his opinion, make him feel as though his matters rather than recanting his view sucks and doesn’t make sense or, rolling your eyes, scrunching up your nose and shaking your head in the negative. He doesn’t have to be right. You just have to respect and appreciate his point of view.
Men like to get to the point while we get all bogged down in the details. If it takes you 15 minutes to get to the point of the question, he’ll shut down after the first few. It’s not that he doesn’t care because men like to rescue and solve problems. He just doesn’t need all the details.
When with him, make sure your romantic side is always prevalent. Your guy is jockeying and competing each day all day long for status and respect from his counterparts. Even if you’re a tigress in the board room, it’s a feminine partner he needs greeting him at the door. He’ll respect you for your strengths and accomplishments. Just don’t constantly verbalize them around him. Your partner needs to feel like he’s providing all your needs and is amazing, not in competition with you.
Guys can’t multi-task like us. It’s not a bad thing. We can be cooking in the kitchen while talking to a colleague on the phone and helping junior with a math problem nearby. They just want to be focused on one thing, whether working at the computer or watching a game. If you need the answer to something, ask him first if it’s a good time to interrupt or ask the question, give him time to think about it and come back later.
Are you a chatter box? Do you ever pause and give somebody an opportunity to get a word in edge-wise? Do you rant on and on? How often do you start out on one topic then get side-tracked and lead into something else? Men like conversation to be a means to an end not beating a dead horse to death or rattling on endlessly. Their brains are wired to focus on one topic at a time. Many times men think ranting is whining even if you’re venting over something that was upsetting and hurtful to you.
It’s not that we have to know how to read a man’s mind that will lead to loving and wanting him more … it’s about understanding how your man thinks that will make you both lovers rather than fighters.