Do Men Listen?

Of course they do … they’re just wired differently.  We get frustrated because our partners don’t feel us, hear us, ignore us or listen to us like our bff’s do.  So, what happens then?  We get frustrated, start to yell, hold back on being intimate because we feel like we’re constantly being ignored and he’s just not getting it.

In actuality ladies, it’s not his fault sometimes.  I can hear you all gasping at your computer screens right now, “What ????”  It’s true though.   Men react to different signals we give off.  And sometimes it’s body/verbal signals we’re not aware of radiating.  Expecting him to agree with you right off the bat isn’t going to happen.  When you ask for his opinion, make him feel as though his matters rather than recanting his view sucks and doesn’t make sense or, rolling your eyes, scrunching up your nose and shaking your head in the negative.  He doesn’t have to be right.  You just have to respect and appreciate his point of view. 

Men like to get to the point while we get all bogged down in the details.  If it takes you 15 minutes to get to the point of the question, he’ll shut down after the first few.  It’s not that he doesn’t care because men like to rescue and solve problems.  He just doesn’t need all the details.

When with him, make sure your romantic side is always prevalent.  Your guy is jockeying and competing each day all day long for status and respect from his counterparts.  Even if you’re a tigress in the board room, it’s a feminine partner he needs greeting him at the door.  He’ll respect you for your strengths and accomplishments.  Just don’t constantly verbalize them around him.  Your partner needs to feel like he’s providing all your needs and is amazing, not in competition with you. 

 

Guys can’t multi-task like us.  It’s not a bad thing.  We can be cooking in the kitchen while talking to a colleague on the phone and helping junior with a math problem nearby.  They just want to be focused on one thing, whether working at the computer or watching a game.  If you need the answer to something, ask him first if it’s a good time to interrupt or ask the question, give him time to think about it and come back later.

Are you a chatter box?  Do you ever pause and give somebody an opportunity to get a word in edge-wise?  Do you rant on and on?  How often do you start out on one topic then get side-tracked and lead into something else?  Men like conversation to be a means to an end not beating a dead horse to death or rattling on endlessly.  Their brains are wired to focus on one topic at a time.  Many times men think ranting is whining even if you’re venting over something that was upsetting and hurtful to you. 

  

It’s not that we have to know how to read a man’s mind that will lead to loving and wanting him more … it’s about understanding how your man thinks that will make you both lovers rather than fighters.  

Home Buying Made Easier

Whether you are buying your very first home, thinking about investing in property or, looking to purchase a vacation home, you need to know that the process of obtaining a mortgage simply is not what it used to be and with that, how financial institutions determine your eligibility to qualify for a loan. Will you need a pocket full of miracles? No, not exactly …just knowledge.  Knowing if you qualify for a mortgage can be complicated.  Doing it right the first time will not only save your money but time, disappointment and embarrassment.

The whole process of application and approval has become extremely restrictive. You need to place the power back in your hands because knowledge is power!   Learning if you are a good candidate is the first step.  Before you even call a realtor to start looking at property, you must have a prequalification letter from a banking institution. No seller will accept a bid on their listed property unless you can prove you have been prequalified in advance.  Nine times out of ten, realtors will not waste their time or, their gas driving you around if you have not been prequalified. And seriously … do you blame them?

Banks and other wholesale lenders are just as cautious also and carefully scrutinize every applicant before offering a mortgage agreement and, rightfully so, in lieu of the last fiasco that brought our nation to its knees and economy to near ruin.  What was once a fairly easy process has now become a little more complicated.  Knowing everything about your credit is key.  It is a blueprint of your worthiness and a major factor in determining the risk involved in granting you a loan, extending credit, obtaining insurance and making major purchases.  The higher your credit score the less likely you'll be placed under a microscope.

The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development offers a valuable website that helps individuals personally analyze their qualifications in regards to home financing before they take that big step into the unknown.  Knowledge is power and why not get all of your ducks in a row before sitting with a loan consultant.  This valuable site will help you analyze your qualifications before you go through the process of qualification. 

Finding a lender you can feel comfortable with is like any major purchase.  Aurora loans are handled by individuals who work hard at making mortgaging easy.  With 85 years of experience in the industry, Aurora Bank has loan consultants with an average of 13 years experience and the ability to help individuals work through their personal needs and provide assistance with an understanding of what life is all about.

FAT Gets Bad Rap

For the past decade we have been inundated with every weight loss plan, pill, exercise and drink that is guaranteed to give us an hour glass figure. Now I've been around long enough to realize that "empty promises" don't guarantee quick, satisfying results.  What I have learned is, if you take the time to understand your body's requirements, you'll most definitely be able to transform yourself and maintain an attractive figure well into your Golden Years.

FAT is a necessity.  I know, I know I speaketh a dirty word.  Please ... no hate mail!  However ladies, our bods require it.  It provides energy so we can be the mega women we need to be daily.  It's essential to maintain those fatty acids our bodies must have to absorb soluble vitamins like A, S, E and K.  Did you know it helps the food we eat stay in our stomachs longer so we feel satisfied?  If your diet is too low in fat, it can trigger those dreaded cravings and a sense of still being hungry. FAT is getting a bad rap because so many of us don't understand its importance.

Krill

The Center for Disease Control stipulates most of the fat eaten should come from unsaturated sources like Omega 3 (walnuts, flaxseed, fish and soybean/canola oil).  I bet there are quite a few of you out there who despise the smell, look, feel and taste of fish though.  Not to worry, other options abound.  I've discovered there is a rather unique substitution for herring, salmon, trout and the commonly known fish oil.  There is a tiny shrimp-like animal inhabiting cold ocean areas around the world but primarily, the Antarctic and North Pacific Oceans called krill.  Its oil extract has many more benefits than the commonly known fish oil.

1. Better absorption
2. Powerful Antioxidant Protection known as astaxanthin
3. Pollution Free
4. Highly renewable source – Would be very hard to over harvest
5. Less likely to go rancid
6. NO fishy after taste

To learn more about this rather unique Omega 3 and its benefits, visit  http://krilloil.com/krill-oil-benefits.html

Challenging Young Minds

Education compared to the days when I was in first grade, which seemed like … wait a minute … it was ions ago, has changed drastically. 

I witness what my daughter has to contend with already with my five year old grandson, Nicholas and it astounds me the pressuring expectations our educational system places on not only young parents, but their children.

I agree that school should be a time of learning, however, whatever happened to fun?  Shouldn’t it be naturally engaging, exciting and appropriate to the degree it meets the level of such young minds and not frustrate the heck out of them?  Granted most parents nowadays start their children off in some kind of preschool program to learn socialization skills and some basics, which is great.

Have you seen first grade math lately though?  It boggles my mind when I look at work sheets that weren’t introduced to us until the later grades.  Most educators today will stand true to the ideology children who do well very early on in their elementary years more likely will graduate and live successful lives.  Well, we turned out plenty of physicists, doctors and engineers back then without overtaxing young minds.  The concept of slowly transitioning our children into learning has literally been thrown out the window with the bath water. 

 

According to the Common Core State Standards Initiative, it’s important our five year olds instructional time should focus on four critical areas: (1) developing understanding of addition, subtraction, and strategies for addition and subtraction within 20; (2) developing understanding of whole number relationships and place value, including grouping in tens and ones; (3) developing understanding of linear measurement and measuring lengths as iterating length units; and (4) reasoning about attributes of, and composing and decomposing geometric shapes.

Kind of makes you wonder if we’re setting our expectations way too high and laying the stress onto our children way before they need to start contending with it.

Laid Off

Guest post written by my buddy Bernardo Graham

My husband lost his job just before the holidays, and it hit our family really hard. Obviously the loss of a job is always a difficult blow but having it happen right before Christmas was especially difficult. We had to sit down with our kids and have a very serious discussion about how we’d have to cut back for a little while but we’d be able to make it through as a family.

The kids have been phenomenal. We had a very pared down Christmas compared to what we usually do, and they haven’t acted upset about it at all. We also started searching for ways to be more frugal, and actually discovered that since we live in Texas we can select a new energy provider that can offer us cheaper rates! It is such an easy thing to do but we definitely started seeing a pretty immediate savings. Between that and our bargain shopping, we saved a ton of money over the last couple of months.

My husband got a call last week from a company he’s been interviewing with—they made him a job offer! He started back to work immediately and couldn’t be happier. It’s actually been one of the best things that could have happened to us. If you find yourself facing a similar situation, or just want to save a little money, check out Just Energy Electric for Amarillo Tx.

Shopping Gone Tech

The days of shopping at local mom and pop retailers is almost a figment of days gone by.  Other than local boutiques, grocers and specialty services modern technology has infiltrated nearly every household in America.

Comparison shopping online has become more than an alternative means of searching out the best deal and discounted offers for big ticketed items, clothing, trips and more.  From Skechers to the mens worlds softest shawl-collar cadigan or Dillard's lounge wear dusters, the world wide web is becoming your oyster.

InternetRetailer.com reported that 54% of consumers this past holiday season had a quarter of their shopping done before Thanksgiving weekend online.  Talk about a heavy lot of consumer traffic putting major league smiles on retailers faces!  It certainly looks like this means of shopping isn't just a quirk but, a significant venue clearly here to stay.

Wanting A Child

Nina Paley is a wonderfully gifted cartoonist.  I came across this very humorous masterpiece recently and it got me to thinking.  How many reasons I’ve heard for someone wanting to be a parent? 

I’m sure you’ve heard one or two of them yourself:  my biological clock is ticking, we have a girl and want a boy, would like someone to carry on our family name, my parents want grandchildren, a child will make our marriage stronger or, I might regret it later when it’s too late.

And then, you have the other end of the spectrum.  According to the American Pregnancy Association, infertility affects 10% of couples of childbearing age in the United States.  It’s staggering the number of loving couples who so desperately want to be parents and can’t.  They leave no stone unturned in their efforts to give birth to a child whether it be through egg freeze, finding a surrogate mother to carry a fetus, IVF (invitro fertilization), embryo transfer, surgery and acupuncture to name a few.  

For decades the stigma associated with infertility was extremely devastating and shamefully embarrassing.  Not any more. Thankfully, that “hushed” and uncomfortable topic is no longer a grave offense one has to carry because continued global research and development is changing that hopeless option to a reality.  Comforting, nurturing, reassuring experiences and high success rates are making dreams of parentage come true where once there were none. 

Relieving Headaches Naturally

We live within a society that is stress inducing.  Getting away from it all simply is virtually impossible.  We all know that headaches aren’t any fun whether it’s a pounding ache or a massive migraine.  There are things you can do, however, to combat them and sometimes it’s those old tried and true natural cure-alls that are the best for what ails you.

Ice Paks ~ the cold restricts blood vessels around the scalp slowing the rate nerves transmit pain signals.

Nix Smoking ~ increased blood pressure, decreased circulation, inflamed sinus/nasal cavities and shrinking blood vessels = headaches over time.

Enjoy A Snack ~ our brains run on oxygen glucose & when it doesn’t get enough … well you know.  Need to eat something at least every 4-6 hours or 5 mini-meals each day

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Massage It Away ~ Hitting the right pressure points will do it.  Check out this video to learn how http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRPITC9rxNI&feature=rellist&playnext=1&list=PLB5CA2703B2DB4F92

Need Fluids ~ So many times we forget how much our body needs liquid.  When it’s lacking, it lets you know because the blood thickens and doesn’t flow as easily through our narrow vessels.6-8 glasses a day is key.

No More Diet Soda ~ Studies are indicating the artificial sweetener aspartame being used as a preservative is a major culprit.  

Daily Walking ~ When you walk briskly, your body emits natural pain-killing chemicals known as endorphins.  Try 30-45 minutes 3-4 days a week.  It’ll not only kill the pain but burn off calories as well.

Spinach ~ This is high in magnesium and will prevent your blood vessels from going into spasms.

Peppermint ~ Believe it or not, a little peppermint oil dabbed on the forehead, temples and back of your neck will reduce the pain in about 15 minutes..

Scrapbooking Gone Digital

If your photos are collecting dust and albums are turning yellow, then a digital scrapbook might just be your answer.  If you’re getting married, have grand children, raising a young family OR, have important milestones in your life coming up … this will save you so much time and money. 

New Baby Boy

I was approached by a company with an awesome offer for my Girlz Korner readers and just couldn’t pass it up after checking out their phenomenal My Memories Suite software.  You will be astounded as to its capabilities.  Photo and scrap albums are obsolete because you can’t add narration and music, download it to your Smart Phone, iPod, Computer , tablet or TV, share it on Facebook, Twitter and other social platforms or print it into a book, calendar, card or onto a CD/DVD.

Special Memories

Templates available are endless and for every occasion and special event imaginable. 

You will receive not only $10 off the purchase of the software, but a $10 coupon as well toward your online purchases.  Just click on the button below and make sure to copy and paste the special Girlz Korner code STMMMS73251 for accuracy at checkout to receive $10 off the purchase of the software.  Once your purchase is confirmed, a coupon will be sent to you via email with your purchase receipt.

ENTER TO WIN the software FREE.  Leave a comment of what template you love below PLUS become a follower or subscriber of this blog and you will be entered.   Deadline is Jan. 23rd.

Little Girl's Birthday

 

Click this button ~ copy & paste this code at check out for accuracy STMMMS73251

What Not To Say To Children

We all have done it ... in that one split moment where we have spewed out words and lashed out in the heat of the moment.

Words cut just as deep and sometimes the scars can cause damaging affects for a life time.  Children especially are sensitive, extremely naive and vulnerable to our words and actions.  What you say, they believe with all their heart.  Hurtful phrases can trigger severe feelings of resentment and damage their self-esteem and self-worth well into their adult lives.

Here are some things you should really think twice about before you let them pass from your lips.  Remember, when dealing with children and young teens, it's what you say and how you say it that leaves a lasting impression.  Make your words count.

Can't You Try Harder ~ If you're not satisfied with their efforts during sports, dance class or school, they certainly won't be motivated any more and left discouraged.  "That was a wonderful effort.  I'm so proud of you.  How about maybe try it this way?"  Be encouraging ... show ... be supportive.

Do You Really Need To Eat That - Eat More ~  Might as well just say they have a weight problem.  If anything, this will foster a negative body image.  Even if you say they're picky or great eaters, young minds translate your meaning differently.

You Always/Never ~ Keep this phrasing out of your comments.  Instead try, "You seem to have some difficulty with that.  What can I do to help?  It's ok it didn't work.  Let mommy help show you how."

"Why Can't You Be More Like ~ Lord!  This will certainly make them harbor feelings of not being worthy and pit them against the rival you created in their mind.  Try to be encouraging in whatever they do.  Otherwise, it makes them feel like they'll never measure up, never be good at anything.

Don't Worry/Cry, It Will Be Fine ~ This dismisses their fears, their worry and how they are truly feeling.  They're still going to worry.  Ask them why they are worried.  Get them to talk about it.   Tell them you understand and there for them.  Let them know it may be scary because it's new but it might surprise them and be a lot of fun.  Let them know they need to at least try and you'll be there if it doesn't work out.

Do As I Say/Because I Told You So ~ Might as well just hit them over the head.  You aren't giving them a chance to figure things out for themselves and making the right decision with just dictating.  You'll make them harbor feelings of defiance and what they think doesn't matter.  If for example they want to play/hang out with friends and not go visit Gramma with you try, "Gramma loves and misses you and it's important we spend time with her because she doesn't see you often."

Just Let Me Do It ~ When your child volunteers and wants to help, don't slap them down if they don't do it right.  "That was great sweetie!  Let me show you another cool way."